As I Please: The December Primates Poem
In chokey still: ah, plus ca change.
He gave the world, through wikileaks,
Such bad news of its ruling freaks
As caused post-haste the Arab Spring,
That most unsettling, seismic thing,
That upsurge of the baleful truth
Which made earth's mighty cry, 'Forsooth!
We must bring down this upstart Aussie,
The spifflicator of Moammar and Hosi,
Lest he bring down proud Bibi too,
A shakedown that would never do.
Let's find some sex-crimes he might rue.'
There swift appeared in wowser Sweden
Two dodgy dykes he'd done the deed in.
'Mah Gerd, he wers so impolite,
He smiled, we ferked, he stayed the night,
Then ONCE MORE while ah wers asleep:
Ten years minimum for thees creep!
Plers torture and chains in Guantanamo!
And death for wert he else mart know!'
And did we, Primates, likewise pork
Some snoring slut in fear she'd talk,
We might too howl now in some cell,
Nude, shackled, freezing, mad as hell.
We needs must practise better manners
In bed, in Sweden, with urban planners
Or cinema ushers, or what you will.
They mean us harm, they mean us ill.
One prick-prod out of place means gaol.
Beweep Assange's fate; and then all hail
His early rising cock. Wassail.